An answer to our prayers

As most of you know, we have been working with a birth mother over the past few weeks. We had three different phone calls letting us know that we had been chosen and would be getting a baby girl. Each one was followed with another phone call informing us that she a-wanted to go with another agency, b-called another family and told them she had chosen them also, and c-that she was considering doing a private adoption. Very emotionally exhausting!

After our initial phone conversation with the birth mother, every single conversation was about money. We felt like she was really in need, but her stories weren't quite matching up with what her case worker would tell us. We weren't sure if things were as desperate as she was making them seem. To make matters worse, she told us her phone broke and she could only text. It's pretty hard to build a relationship texting. (Plus it takes forever and I can't pushing all those tiny buttons for hours on end.)

We were totally fine with helping her out, but had to work through the agency. It is actually illegal for adoptive couples to send money directly to birth mothers. And for good reason. That's why there is always an agency or attorney involved. She didn't seem to understand this, so it was stressful for us.

On Saturday, we prayed that we would know if this baby is meant to be ours. If we should continue to endure the stress because it would be worth it in the end. Our prayers were totally answered. Sunday we got a text asking us how much money we could send for groceries every month. We texted back that we would have to talk to her case worker on Monday. Then we got ready and left for church.

When we got home, there were two texts waiting for us. The first one said that if we couldn't send the money, she would have to find a family that could. The next one (three hours later) said basically that it was just too stressful for her and she would need to find another family. When I read that last message, I felt a flood of relief pass over me. I felt like I had a huge burden lifted off my shoulders. Wes said he felt the same. We knew that our prayers had been answered and that it was time to move on. We texted her back that we understood and wished her the best of luck. I felt more relaxed that evening than I have for weeks.

We spoke to our case worker on Monday and told her what had happened. We told her that although it is a disappointment, we are totally at peace. We know that our little girl is coming, we just need to find her. She told us there is still a small chance that this baby could be placed with us, but that it is a good idea to move on.

So we are back to square one. But this has been an amazing learning experience. Our case worker told us that only about 1 in 10 placements is this stressful. So unless we have to try 9 more times, it should be much easier in the future! :)