Turning Things Over

Most of you have noticed that this blog has not been updated since June. Some of you know that in June our life took a turn that we weren't quite expecting. I have hesitated sharing all the details of why, but it has dragged on for so long that I feel like our family and friends should have an explanation of why things have been sparse around these parts.

On June 14th, we got a call from my Aunt Dixie. Josh had been given temporary guardianship of his one year old daughter Aspen because birth mother (Mandy) was arrested and facing 4-6 months in jail. We had been planning on adopting her when she was born, but Mandy changed her mind after the birth. We were expecting a call at some point, but had no idea when it would come. So when we heard that Josh was still interested in placing with us, we were thrilled.

A few days later, we picked Aspen up and brought her home to care for her. Needless to say, with two one year-olds, 4 boys to feed and chauffeur, a house to run, and my calling as YW President, I didn't have much time for blogging!

Once I got a routine going, I was just out of the habit and never thought about it. Then I kept putting it off because I was so far behind and knew it would take forever to update everything.

So, to make a long story (literally- three typed  pages to the judge) short, here is where things stand. After caring for Aspen for over two months, we all started to bond with her. She started to feel like a part of our family, especially for the youngest two. Rachel loved having her around, and I constantly thought and dreamed about how fun it would be to have two sisters growing up together. I have always wanted twins!

We anticipated that the adoption would go through, and we actually  hoped that Mandy would sign relinquishment papers. Up to that point, her mother had shown no interest in Aspen at all. (Didn't bring her home from the hospital, wouldn't help Mandy care for her, didn't pick her up from the courthouse when Mandy was arrested.) She relied on Josh and Dixie to take care of everything.

Then the end of August she started threatening Josh's family, making allegations that they kidnapped her grand-daughter. We tried to meet with her, but she was completely hostile and unable to have a civil conversation with us. She showed up at our house and we had to call the police. The next few weeks were some of the most stressful I've ever had. I literally couldn't leave the house for fear that she would show up and traumatize our boys.

She ended up filing for guardianship, which under the current law is not even allowed if petition to adopt has been filed. Her attorney was unaware of the law, and shouldn't have filed. Then Judge Dever, got the case, didn't even read it, ignored the law, and granted her guardianship. (In our opinion, he is arrogant, and inept, and should be removed from office.)Debbie works full time, which means Aspen would be spending the majority of her time in an inner city daycare. All of us were devastated.

Our attorney felt like it would only be a short time, because the motion to adopt had already been filed, and it takes precedence over guardianship. (Basically, once a birth mother's rights are terminated, so are the grandparents'.) So we just needed to wait to find out if the adoption would go through. At that point, Wes and I decided it was out of our hands. Through much prayer and contemplation, I realized that I had to turn everything over to the Lord. If Aspen is meant to be in our home, I know she will be. If she's not, as horrible as it is, there is nothing we can do about it. I have found a measure of peace in this.

We do know that the longer she is with Debbie, the harder it will be for her if she ends up with our family. All of us need closure. Unfortunately the judge (thankfully not Judge Dever) who is looking at the adoption case has still not made a decision. He was given all the paperwork the beginning of October, and we do not understand why he is putting it off. It is hard to see firsthand the corruption in the system, and the suffering of the little children whose rights seemed to be ignored when they are the ones who should be protected.

We would appreciate any prayers for little Aspen and our family. We need to have closure, one way or the other.